That is the first question for today.
Ever get so stressed out because you've had to be social for so many days in a row?
That is the second question for today.
I can't deal with constant interactions, constant social interactions. I would label me an introvert. I may seem extroverted when I'm forced to be social. Just maybe on rare occasions may that happen. Only probably because I get a little manic when nervous in where I have to engage with strangers (or anyone for that matter), but especially for those I do not know. This week was just like that. Over stimulated social encounters.
I was supposed to go to a Dr. appointment Monday but I had gotten food poisoning over the weekend. (So much fun, I would highly recommend it)
Then I went to my Pain Specialist on Tuesday. I have a messed up back. I'll tell you how that came to be another time. Two weeks ago I had an MRI done for my messed up back; to see if it's gotten worse or better. It never gets any better.
As I waited to be called to the back I was getting agitated. I didn't sleep good the night prior like many nights over the years but especially the past few months have been horrible about me trying to get any sleep. So, I had two twenty ounce mugs of coffee prior to my appointment. Needed to be awake but with the social environment I was placed in it makes me a bit manic occasionally. Just a little.
I waited and watched as everyone was called back to get seen by their Dr and I'm still waiting to be seen. Everyone that was there when I arrived (which was thirty-seven minutes before my scheduled appointment) had gone back and now they were calling most everyone that had arrived after me. I went then and asked the front desk receptionist about my appointment, which now was well after the time I was scheduled for. She said that they're computers are "down" and they are running behind. Okay, so I sat back down. I'm a pretty patient person. Most of the time.
I couldn't focus on anything because of my pain and just decided to sit there staring at the wall, just waiting to hear my name to be called back. Minding my own business. An hour passed by, passed the time my appointment was scheduled for.
Then this fellow patient sitting to my right just started talking to me as if he was a friend. He was saying the same thing I was thinking, that everyone was being called back but him and well me. I agreed with him and talked to him when spoken too but I didn't feel like being social at that time. I'm just too nice to tell him to shut up. I should either get used to interacting with strangers while I'm out or learn how to tell people to not to talk to me.
The only things we talked about was that it was awful that people were getting called to the back to see their doctors and we still hadn't been called to the back. I know he didn't care if I got called back but I think he was just tired of reading his magazine. He was just venting to me about his predicament.
I was getting fed up with his negativity and venting to me. I told him he should go check to see if he is close to being called back. After all, I went and asked about my appointment. He kept saying, "Nah" that he wasn't going to go check. He had no balls obviously. Though after me encouraging him to do so, he finally went and asked. I was just finding any excuse to get him to leave me alone.
After all that waiting, which was now a little over two hours after my arrival time, He got called back before me! I was there twenty minutes before him and we had appointments at the same time. That upset me, so I went and asked the receptionist when my appointment was, after all I've been waiting over two hours so far. Longer than anyone that I had seen that day.
They asked if I wanted to wait in the back or in the waiting room. I told them I wanted to wait in the back because their TV was too loud and driving me crazy. Plus no one would approach me and talk to me back there. Unless, it was the doctor.
My doctor finally arrived to my room. I had been wanting to know my MRI results. That's the first thing I asked about. I asked her to show me on the spine model where my injuries were that showed up on my MRI. So she did.
As she was going over my results, she first said that the MRI showed that my kidney was dislocated and has rotated out of place. How could that have happened? I asked and she didn't know. She said I would need to see my PCP about that problem. She read my MRI results and no my back didn't get any better. It had gotten worse since my last MRI. As usual.
After my appointment I would need to call my cab to go home. That same guy came up to me outside and said his car wouldn't start. I didn't want to be talking to him.I thought I wouldn't see him again. I was wrong. I thought if I helped him he would go away and leave me alone. So, I started asking people if they had jumper cables. I heard that he said the engine wouldn't turn over. I told him it might be his battery. Upon talking to him further, I said it was probably the alternator that drained the battery. I thought he just needed a jump.
I told him to just ask people for a jump, but he had no balls to ask one single person. I wanted to tell him to grow some balls and just ask people.Most people are nice enough to help you, most of the time. I guess he just used me because I asked several people. Finally asked the right guy and he helped jump start his car. That guy I helped never said thank you or goodbye to me. He just got in his 2011 Chrysler and left. What a guy!
At least I didn't have to deal with him anymore. Plus my cab showed up a minute later. I was glad to be going home.
When I got home I had made an emergency appointment with my PCP and then I also had to go to take a pulmonary test for Tuesday. (That very next day)
So, Tuesday I went to my PCP. They didn't want to say it was my kidney. They did a urine test and I didn't have any infection. Spent hours there and all they did was put a referral to the Urologist.
Got down to the downstairs lobby and ate my lunch. I knew I couldn't go home for lunch so I packed a lunch to take with me. Hadn't done that in over a decade.
I went and did my test with the Pulmonary Specialist. I'll get the results when I go back to my PCP. Though the tech said my numbers looked good.
I went home and waited for the Urologist to call about my referral. No one called. I was told they put in the referral as a stat order. I had to call my PCP office and get the Urology Clinic details. I was in so much pain from the non stop travelling that day that I didn't call the Urologist until the next day.
So, Thursday was the next day. I made my appointment with the Urologist but they couldn't get me in until next week. I would have liked to see them sooner. I'm in so much pain. Though I'm glad I had a day to make my appointments and cabs for this month. I also had a meeting Thursday. Plus I had to pay bills. Wasn't a fun day all together.
Now it's Friday. Trying to get some R&R. Still having to make a few phone calls and get yet some more doctor offices scheduled and set up my transportation. I still am not finished making phone calls, but I need to take time out for myself today. When I am constantly on the "go" I need a few days to recuperate. I need my down time. I can't survive without some peace and quiet. Some "ME" time.
So I'm an introvert whom gets a little manic occasionally. Yes, I get stressed out leaving my apartment everyday. Days on end, without any me time. Most people don't understand that. They don't get that I need to be unplugged for days or even longer. My "person" gets it. So does my husband mostly. I can't stretch myself out too thin or I'll break-down.
That's why I'm not social sometimes, most of the time. I've got a lot that I deal with, but doesn't everyone have they're own shit to deal with? Everyone has they're own way to re-charge themselves back up after life sucks them down. How do I re-charge? It's not always the same way. Some times I need to blog. Others I read all day for days, stuffing as many books in my head as possible. I love my online library books, and who doesn't love kindle. Some days i just stuff my head with season after season of a "flavor of the month" T.V. series or catch up on my Netflix movies. I used to unwind with sketching or painting, but I haven't done anything like that in a very long time. I want to get back into my art. I need to. I am starting to crave it. There are many ways to unwind and re-charge. I have many other ways to get some R&R. What are your favorite ways to unwind and relax?
This week is over. Just a little reprieve until the onslaught of doctor appointments next week and the week after that, and so on. Little time for me anymore. The years are going by faster and faster, every year it seems quicker than the last. Is it just me or is it just me getting older. My Grandma always said, "The years go by faster as you get older." My Grandma was right. I am getting old. (And tired)
Are you an introvert or an extrovert? How do you handle stress and social environments? How do you re-charge your batteries? Just remember to be kind to one another. You could make or break someones day. Will you be the reason someone smiles or cries?
